TTBH2

The last couple of months were unbearable. Everything and I mean everything I did was totally wrong. It was becoming obvious that she not only saw her life going in a different direction but that she actually despised me. Being truthful I did realise just how dislikeable I found her by this stage but I suppose I was still clinging to the belief that she would change (I genuinely never really understood her antipathy) and a reluctance to abandon the relationship because of all the effort I'd put in, emotionally, physically and financially, plus of course she had my daughter and I knew almost by instinct just how difficult she would make it for me to have any type of relationship with her. Anyway huge row, she told me to go, I went. If I'd been allowed a bit of time to adjust I think all would have been sorted annd settled within a year, but she couldn't. I began getting daily visits at work during the course of which I was blamed for everything, criticised incessantly, and during the course of which she made it 100% clear that all her concerns were financial. I effectively did not exist except as a means for her to maintain her lifestyle. I'd know this for years of course but at least during that time we'd been a sort of pretend couple, now she wanted the same arrangement but without even the pretence. Years earlier I had hoped I was wrong. I wasn't. The pain of realising that I'd betrayed myself by remaining with her, betrayed my family and now introduced a beautiful little girl into the world only to have her taken under the wing of this monster was too much for me to bear. And then she told me she was pregnant. I simply wasn't equipped to handle all this and I eventually folded.